Uptight (everything’s alright), Uptight (out of sight)
i really don’t want to come across as an uptight person, in fact i sincerely believe i am not at all, it’s due to circumstances that i have to pretty much stick to a schedule or compromise with others. i don’t want to compromise, i, like most people, am selfish. it is the human nature. but then it’s also semi-obligatory for me to be thoughtful and nice because that’s my personality as well. it is tiring to be considerate, and i think i am pretty damn considerate. too much that it’s overwhelming my selfish nature. a lot of times people don’t really appreciate the considerate-ness because it is pretty unnecessary that i go the extra mile. then i dig a deeper hole for myself thinking that because of my excessful thoughtfulness, that nobody would ever do the same thing for me and i feel even more silly. and then i’m confused and worried how my friends see me, because i believe a person that’s way too nice is bordering on annoying, and i don’t know if i crossed that line. i try to tone that down with sarcasm and weird comments but still, i get insecure and worried who my real friends are. i should be wise enough to tell, but life plays funny games and you start second guessing…
hah, this whole piece end up reading like i’ve been cheated and i am not-so-subtly talking about my qualities and i’ve shitty friends. anyway i guess it’s just a small aspect of life i was talking about that ticks me a little. i do have lots of wonderful people in my life, and i adore them dearly to my heart. maybe i’m getting old and paranoid, but sometimes, everybody just needs a little re-assurance that they’re special and have meant something in your life.
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